I know. No. I really know, learning is hard work. I mean, when I was a kid I read the book, I did the assignment… poof! I passed the test or got ‘the grade’, but is that learning? Sure. And maybe not the whole picture.
Here I am, a 30+ year old lady out in the world learning to surf. And let me tell you: not that easy for me. Even harder when I hear, ‘Ahhh, you do yoga, this will be super easy for you…’. Well. It’s not. So am I failure? My instructor says, it’s all in my head; I’ve got to get out of my own way. Just relax and ride.
I am! I say through a clenched jaw and salty tears.
There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.
Paulo Coelho
Why can’t I do the work and get the result I anticipated? Expectations, expectations, expectations… the burdens we (I) tend to place on top of most of our (my) experiences. Not that I’ve become enlightened in this practice of expectations and the bogus reward system Western culture places upon society, but in the least, I’m aware that it’s a work in progress.
I was watching the real devoted surfers out on the waves here in Bali. Morning after morning they go out and fail. For every good wave there are 59 bad ones. For every bad wave there are minutes of waiting patiently for the next bad one. And nearly all their runs (I don’t know the right surfing terminology and Google didn’t pull through in an acceptable amount of time), end in what looks like epic failure: getting eaten by huge white foam, board up!, BOOM swallowed up by the next one, legs up!, nose dive, paddling to miss the wave, etc. They work for what seems like 10 seconds (if they are lucky) to ride on top of one of the most epic backs Mother Nature possess. All that physical and mental discipline for such a short pay out.
The main event has never been the manifestation; the main event has always been the way you feel moment by moment, because that is what life is.
Esther Hicks
I love watching, sitting in the grandstands (beach bar/coffee shop) and being the cheerleader for all these hungry folks. They are riding waves for fucks sake! How cool is that? So for me, I’ve got the watching and the appreciation down. Now it’s the doing… fail, fail, fail. I need to learn to fail. Failing harder. Failing better. Just keep failing and living with that I might get 10 seconds of bliss.
Off the sidelines, I rise.
roadside yogi 